Shit To Do In '09

- Fuck with cuter niggas a.k.a. J.B. & D.N. a.k.a. UPGRADE

- Be more careful with my moves & think about shit for 2 seconds before I do them.

- Work hard to gain my parent's trust back.

- Get a J-O-B.

- Get tested.

- Read more books.

- Lose weight for prom.

- Don't forget to pray & praise God always.

- Fall in love. SIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE.

...i'll work on this later.

...making the best out of it.

I GOT THIS

It's just so easy to get mad at all the shit that has been going on, but I'm praying for the strength not to. I know deep down that this is a sign for me to get my act together, cuz I have been pretty fucking reckless. I know that everything happens for a reason, so I shouldn't even sweat it. I know He will take care of it.

N.I.G.G.E.R.- NaS

they say the close ones will hurt you, so let's keep a small circle.

you can't run your life on your own. let go & let God.

DADDY LOSOOOO

True Happiness Is Not Man-Made

I really am nothing without You. Thank you x infinity. I can't do this without You. <3

Note To Self

Just laugh about it.

The day you stop giving a fuck is the first day of the rest of your wonderful life. Get it together, kids! I'm still on cloud nine, and it's pretty nice up here. You should join me, and we'll spark up the illest L & have conversation that will blow your fucking mind.

TRUE FUCKING STORY

YOU KNOW I GOT YOUR BACK LIKE CHIROPRAC! IF ANY BITCH DO YOU DIRTY, I'LL WIPE HER ASS OUT & SEND DETERGENT.

I Want You- Erykah Badu

In the worst kind of way, I want you. So what we gonna do...

never do what they do.

You Sent Me Flying- Amy Winehouse

I never hated myself for my age so much.

You Sent Me Flying- Amy Winehouse

Although my pride is not easy to disturb, you sent me flying when you kicked me to the curb.

The art of losing myself in bringing You praise.

Reminders

▪ Always try to find the beauty in the hideous.
▪ Try to give a fuck.
▪ You are fierce.
▪ Work it!
▪ Smile once in a while.
▪ Get some head.
▪ Try to do good in school.
▪ Party like it's 1999.
▪ Fuck Authority.
▪ Lose 10 more lbs. You can do it.
▪ Fuck Niggas, Get Money.
▪ Stop making fun of people.
▪ Go to church.
▪ Pray unceasingly.
▪ It's a hairflip.

My heart beats for You only. I'm sorry for letting everything distract me.

You Know What

Then you kissed my cheek, my knees get weak, my heart just skipped a beat, so I just froze. When you touched me there, I knew you would, and you touched me good, I'm like uh-oh.

WHAT'S UPDOG?

most of my blogs have been super short lately. & you know why?! cuz i don't give a fuckkkkk. i wanna give a fuckkk, but i can't give a fuck. ignorance is fucking bliss. yeahh nigga i do what the fuck i want. sucka free foevuhhh. yeahh bitch. i love my fucking life. my life fucking loves me. ok i'm weird. thank You x infinity, Lord. everything is perfect. disgustingly perfect, and i'm keeping it that way. nothing phases me. it's a fucking hairflip. keep ya head up babygirlllll & you'll touch the sky.

You are toooooooo good to me.

$TAY GOLD.

<33333333

Dear Summer,
Thanks for taking away my innocence.

xoxo,
V

Everyone could use a slice of humble pie. So, quit acting like you're the shit, and eat up!

There is no greater love than what I feel for You.

yo, they don't even know...

My mindset right now is...

Hit it and quit it. Beat it and delete it. Fuck it and chuck it. I don't wanna be your girl, I'd rather be your bitch. Fuck a teenage love affair!

Thank You Lord for giving me the ability to push all the B.S. to the side and live the way I am living right now. I'm loving the life I live, and living the life I love. I am way too blessed. You are incredible.

I AM ONE LUCKY BITCH. I AM THE EPITOMY OF $UCKA FREE!

I am so grateful...

to be living through You.

Got a chick

named Superhead, she give super head, just moved in the building, even gave the super head.

Right now, I don't feel like thinking about anything. Ignorance is fucking bliss.

The way You move is a mystery.

dinner by candlelight, but you're the main entrée.

Note To Self

Never roll with fake ass bitches/niggas.

man, it's so hard not to act reckless.

i love God, i love my family, i love my friends with all of my heart and soul. everything i have is what i have to give to you. i'm all yours.

"Even when I'm sick and depressed, I love life." -Arthur Rubenstein

Life's not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman. You only call her a bitch cuz she won't let you get that pussy.

I really need You right now.

You always give me the strength to never allow myself to feel hopeless. I love you.

=)

If there is ever a time you can't find me
Don't worry, I'm doing alright
I'm probably hiding out somewhere counting my blessings
Mumbling something about sunshine
Wondering how much love I could live in a lifetime

Dare to be different.

Last night I had the decision of going to a partayyy or my grandma's birthday party. I already had my mind set on going to that partayyy, but then my dad made me feel guilty for not going to my own grandma's birthday thing. I reluctantly went, but my dad told me that we would leave early so I can go to the partayyy. It sounded good to me. It got late and my dad was too tipsy to make the half-hour trip back home to Jersey. At my grandma's the most random thing happened, me and my uncle, that I barely talk with, had this amazing conversation, the kind you bond over. I would have cried, but there were too many people and I can't let anyone see me cry hhaha. I'm just glad my dad persuaded me to go to my grandma's. God is so funny. Every single, teeny event in life happens for a reason, whether you like it or not. I'd take amazing conversation over getting fucked up any day. Or amazing conversations while inebriated? Because drunken words are sober thoughts? I like sober words are sober thoughts better.

Shit I wanna do in my lifetime that I think I am capable of doing

In no specific order...

-Go skydiving
-Dye my hair blonde
-Try shrooms
-Try ecstacy
-Try absinthe
-Lose hella weight
-Get my hair waistlength
-Experience rapture
-Travel to Spain, Italy, France, Japan.
-Discover my 8th world wonder
-Get my nipples pierced
-Gauge my septum
-Get a tattoo
-Go streaking
-Read War And Peace
-Read every Chuck Palahniuk book ever published
-Marry outside of my race
-Have children
-Own a Chanel Black Caviar Flap Bag
-Own a pet
-Give a fuck
-Fall in love
-Find a vaccine for mosquito bites
-Get a tan
-Have a kid or two
-Make a grown man cry
-See Amy Winehouse live and/or meet her and become her BFF
-Write an amazing song
-Learn how to ride a bike
-Fuck Mark Ronson
-Apply to Harvard just for fun
-Live in London
-Save the world
-Take 3 minute showers for the rest of my life
-Get laser hair removal done on my armpits
-Get my tragus pierced
-Join the Peace Corps.
-Make a pilgrimage somewhere
-Be the change I'd like to see in this world
-Be in a magazine
-Take my relationship with God higher x infinity
-Come of age
-Enjoy my senior year in high school
-See Erykah Badu live
-See The Red Hot Chili Peppers live
-Watch the sunset while eating pancakes naked
-Watch the sunrise while eating pancakes naked
-Boob job. A large C-cup maybe?
-Get money
-Get my teeth whitened
-Drive a tow truck or a bus
-Fuck Lenny Kravitz
-Pay a stranger's subway/bus fare
-Enlighten a stranger
-Fire a gun
-Speak Spanish fluently
-Ride a horse
-Ride an elephant
-Sex on the beach
-Sex on a rooftop
-Own a pair of Louboutins
-Black Cement III's =/
-Learn how to swim
-Think of more shit to add to this

I Absolutely Adore This Beautiful Song

I am ready for love
Why are you hiding from me?
I'd quickly give my freedom
To be held in your captivity
I am ready for love
All of the joy and the pain
And all the time that it takes
Just to stay in your good grace

Lately I've been thinking maybe you're not ready for me
Maybe you think I need to learn maturity
They say, "Watch what you ask for 'cause you might receive"
But if you ask me tomorrow, I'll say the same thing

I am ready for love
Would you please lend me your ear?
I promise I won't complain
I just need you to acknowledge I am here

If you give me half a chance I'll prove this to you
I will be patient, kind, faithful and true
To a man who loves music, a man who loves art
Respects the spirit world and thinks with his heart

I am, I am ready for love
If you'll take me in your hands
I will learn what you teach
And do the best that I can

I am ready for love, here with an offering of
My voice, my eyes, my soul, my mind
Tell me what is enough
To prove I am ready for love
I am ready

Don't You Put Me On The Backburner

I've come to learn that it's a big waste of time getting annoyed/mad over shit I have absolutely no control over. It takes a lot for a person to change. I wish you cared, but you really don't. I can't do shit about that. I guess you're just being you. It's whatever. You keep being you and I'll keep being me. I know you love me and shit, but it just sucks you don't know how to show it. It also sucks that you're so goddamn selfish and only think about yourself. I guess you just weren't taught how to care or how to really love and I understand that, but it's kinda frustrating boo. It would be nice to be acknowledged for once. I don't wanna think like that. I wanna be able to console others rather than to be consoled and all that jazz, but it take a lot to just change my mindset like that. Why do I think like this? UGH. It's all fucking gravy. This blog is pointless. I just have a lot on my mind. I just need to pray on this. I'm so lucky. I feel so dumb worrying about stupid shit like this, but idk I just need to get this off my chest. Yadig? It really isn't a big deal pero I'm fucking gay so I just have to blog about it. Yay for blogspot.


FUCK THAT! I will always be $UCKAFREE!¡!¡ I'm still a happy fuck.


P.S.-Happy Indepenis Day. Fireworks are for pansies.

My hands are searching for you
My arms are outstretched towards you
I feel you on my fingertips
My tongue dances behind my lips for you

This fire rising through my being
Burning I'm not used to seeing you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

My hands float up above me
And you whisper you love me
And I begin to fade
Into our secret place

The music makes me sway
The angels singing say we are alone with you
I am alone and they are too with you

I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

And so I cry
The light is white
And I see you

I'm alive, I'm alive, I'm alive

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healing

Take my hand
I give it to you
Now you owe me
All I am
You said you would never leave me
I believe you
I believe

I can feel you all around me
Thickening the air I'm breathing
Holding on to what I'm feeling
Savoring this heart that's healed

Surviving On Your Love

Every breath I take, every sunrise, every giggle, and every tear are just a wee fraction of the endless reminders of how much You love me. I am too blessed.

I just want you around
I just want you around
I just want you around
I just want you around

Thought that I had lost you
I can hardly make a sound
When I thought I couldn't hold you
Knew the world had let me down
Should have took the time and told you
You keep my feet on the ground
I hope that you can hear me
Cause I know it's not profound

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around

When I thought I was without you
I got used to being down
It was my fault I used to doubt you
But that ain't me next time around
Please believe me when I tell you
Cause all my words are bound
This is my cross now let me bear it
I was lost but now I'm found, found, found

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around

Took this love for granted
Kept my feelings underground
Should have watered what I planted
Should have known what I have found
I'm not used to being lonely
I don't like the way it sounds
You're the only one I know, yeah
Who don't turn my upside-down

I just want you around
I just need you around
I just want you around
I just need you around
Yeah, I want you around
I just need you around

Sometimes you have to lose a part of yourself to find your whole self.

The Man Of My Dreams

SHITTTTT

I just found out it was too late for the volunteer thing at the fucking hospital. Motherfucker. I guess it wasn't meant to be. Well, I guess I'm just gonna spend my summer getting fat and stalking myspace profiles. YAY!

'09!

Summer's fucking here. IDK what I'm gonna do. Pero I know I wanna keep myself busy. I need to find a damn job. I hope I can still volunteer at New York-Presbyterian.

I just have one more fucking exam. I can't wait. I hope I don't see any of the faggots from my school this summer.

Phuket, I just remembered that I have to take 2 more driving lessons from my nightmare of a driving instructor. Her voice is so fucking annoying. ¡MAS PUTO!

DAMN NIGGA...

I AM SO FUCKING HAPPY!

<3

I JUST CHECKED MY WATCH AND IT IS...

SKINNY TIME!!!!

Prayer of Saint Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Because...

of YOU, I'm on some real 'fuck a bitch' shit.

Leaving on a G5!

Kankan's leaving for the Philippines tomorrow, and she's gonna be there for like an eternity. I'm gonna miss that bitch.

<3 you gourl

People think that I'm crazy

Just cuz I wanna be alone
You can't depend on friends to help you in a squeeze
We all deal with shit on our own
Sometimes the beef can grow, get outta hand
Yeah, you know it gets full blown
I never said that you mean the world to me
Maybe it's best that you never know

All the shit you claim you hate, you go back to. What's up with that? I guess the things you find essential aren't what I find to be essential, but that's just you. It's all goodie.

Apathy, please hit me where it hurts.

You are so damn annoying. Sorry.

We're Screwed.

This scares the shit out of me.

The Sky Is Falling, No Need To Panic...

I don't feel like doing chem homework, so I uploaded some fisheyes.

DUH

Everyone knows the most important things in life are the four G's...Guys, Girlfriends, and Gossip Girl.

I finally have something to believe. Something to make life worthwhile. Something amazing. Thank You, Lord. I am forever grateful.

So give me something to believe

Cause I am living just to breathe

And I need something more

To keep on breathing for

So give me something to believe

No more confusion.

I can honestly say, I am happy with the person I have become at sweet sixteen. I know I'm young, and I have a lot of struggles ahead of me that might get me down, but right now I feel indestructible, like I can handle anything with Him in tow. I love what I'm feeling right now. I'm focusing on now, the present, because that's all that matters. Tomorrow's never promised. I'm just taking it one day at a time. Praise God Always. <3

LMAO

You come in every Wednesday on your lunch break, I think, and you always order the special...with the hot chocolate.
My manager be trippin and stuff talkin 'bout we gotta use water, but I always use some milk and cream for you, cause...
I think you're kinda sweet.

It's so funny how things turn out. God has a great sense of humor.

I don't know how, but I think I finally know what I want to do when I get out of high school. It's like it picked me, as whack as that sounds. Yay! But who knows, I'll probably change my mind next month or something.

Uh, yeah, I'd like that punani to go, please.

Oh yeah, life ain't as bad as it's cracked up to be. It's actually pretty amazing.

It's Spring. That means I'm getting fatter, but you know what!?! I don't care! I LOVE MYSELFFFFF!!!!!!!! ahaha im incredibly gay.

I'm so happy. I think I'm well on my way to experiencing rapture. I love my life. I am so blessed. Thank You, Lord for this beautiful gift called life.

How sweet it is to be loved by You. <3

I am so fucking fed up with school. I don't know how much longer I can take it! Fucking bitch. It's only fucking March. March is the worst month out of the whole year, besides January and February. Just a few more days til April, my favorite month. Maybe I'll be in a good mood by then. Ugh, I fucking hate school. FUCKFUKCUFKCKKCKGJDSF.

Happy Birthday, Kristine! I love you, loser. =)

Beautiful first day of Spring today. I'm in a bangin mood. Winter's over. School sucks major dick. I have no love life. My hair looks poppin. Corinne Bailey Rae lights up my life. Everythang's all goooood. YLSS is next week. It's not really hitting me yet, but I'm hella excited.

Good Friday's tomorrow. No school. Time to reflect. I don't think I'm going to use my laptop tomorrow or watch TV or anything like that.

Ok that's it.

Alpha Kenny Wun

SEYMOUR BUTZ!!!

I got pickpocketed today. Holla! About 60 bucks gone. But hey, at least I made someone's day today. Good for me, and good for the beautiful person who is 60 bucks richer.

High School is turning into the worst, most awkward years of my life, but I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. Being awkward is fun!

I love rainy days like this.

FUCKK MEEE

Ew, I just made a blogspot. I thought I'd make one since Xanga is extinct, and having a blogspot is cool.


Okay, I hate myself. <3